Assumptions

There is an old saying, " One should never assume, because it will make an ass out of you and me." This is entirely true, especially when accusing someone of a crime, most notably monatary theft. I have never stolen money in my life, and I highly resent being accused of such. Recently a small amount of money came up missing from the register I was using at work. I am now under suspicion of theft, an accusation I a highly offended by. I don't want their money, I would much rather earn it myself, and if what they pay me isn't enough, I'll pick up a baby-sitting job or sell some of my handmade doll clothes to make up the difference. What is worse is that they will assume I am a liar and remove the missing money from my next paycheck, nearly the equivalent of two hours work. I am going to fight this accusations to the death.

Bing Crosby

I realize this might sound strange, but I love Bing Crosby. I love his singing, his style, his acting, especially when he co-stars with Bob Hope in their famous road movies. Bing’s voice is so mellow and he accentuates the lyrics in such a way that it seems like he is speaking only to you or that he really means what he is singing about. This style really comes through when he sings his Christmas songs, especially the religious ones, such as Aedeses Fiedelus, O Come all Ye Faithful to those not in the know. People look at me like I have a third leg or something like that when I tell them that I’m crazy about Bing. I don’t find it so strange. I have always had a deep appreciation for older works of music or movies. At least with Bing Crosby I can understand the words that are being sung, unlike some of the blaring, techno infused, profanity laced, garbage that people my age are so crazy about. I would rather hear a well written song about love than listen to some one spewing about the hoe they just bagged or the cop they just shot. Laugh if you will, but Bing Crosby’s voice should be what male singers strive to achieve!

Happy easter and happy stuff like that

Happy Easter one and all! Not really. Easter, like Christmas seems to be lost in that glut of consumerism and the promotion of the non-Christian characters. The Easter bunny and other baby animals seem to take center stage. Rarely do I see crosses in yards like nativities at Christmas and the sight is saddening. Why are we so keen to celebrate the Savior's birth, if we do not give equal billing to the real reason he was born. Christ was not born for us to have one day a year to eat like pigs and give gifts to one another. He was born for us to celebrate Easter, when he died and rose again in order to save us from the sin that condems us, not so we could sing the praises of Peter Cottontail and gorge ourselves on Marshmallow Peeps. I know I have probably offended some of my non-Christian readers, but I make no appology for my opinion. As I said in my first blog entry, under the first Amendment I have the write to say and write what I please. Sorry folks, but this is my story and i'm sticking to it. Enjoy your ham and hard boiled eggs! See Ya!

Spring break, give me a break!

The idea of spring break is for college students to relax and take a deep breath before the final stretch to the end of the semester right? WRONG! The professors pile on so many projects that a student ends up spending their entire break in the library, in front of a computer screen , or with their noses jammed in a book that weighs twenty pounds. There is no break, only a reprieve from actual class time to catch up on shit you haven't done yet, needs to be done for right after break, or the shit that should have been done three weeks ago. The headache of trying to make sure you get everything done in the seven or so days you have off is hampered by the fact that most of us have to work on top of school, have families, and the fact that Easter is this weekend. I really would like to pull the covers over my head and blot out the world, but instead I am up to my armpits in paperwork, and up till 2 am trying to come up with a coherent thought. God help the college students, because no one else will!

The Hair Bear Bunch

I am crazy about The Hair Bear Bunch! I love that old cartoon. Actually I love most old cartoons, but The Hair Bear Bunch is one of my favorites. It takes place in the Wonderland Zoo and the three main characters, Hair Bear, Square Bear, and Booby Bear are always trying to escape from the Zoo manager Mr. Peevely. The escape plots are hilarious, and the supporting animal cast is as crazy as Hair and his partners in crime. The show reads like a spoof of one of my favorite live action shows, Hogan's Heroes. Most people think I'm crazy for loving old Hanna Barbara cartoons, but they are much more interesting than modern cartoons. The writers manage to slip in social commentary about the time in which it was made, and now that I am old enough, I get the jokes so much better. Watch some sometime and you will see what I mean.

Power Outages

Power Outages are really annoying. Not having television isn’t the problem; it’s the complete and utter darkness that drives you crazy. I’m not necessarily afraid of the dark; it’s more like the things in the dark that you cannot see. You know, mundane things like tables, chair legs, doorjambs, the brown dog lying on the brown carpet, along with the bears, wolves, and ax murders you hear about while at scout camp. All right, I’ll fess up, I hate the dark. It’s creepy, I can’t see a darn thing, and I still am thankful for the nightlight in the bathroom in the middle of the night. How else am I suppose to miss the computer desk on my way to the john I ask you? But seriously, what is really annoying is when the power decides to go out while you are sleeping and the alarm doesn’t go off, then you are late for school or work. The topper is that the excuse that the alarm didn’t go off has been used so many times that the boss won’t believe you and you get written up. I suppose that we are spoiled with our electricity and the like that comes with it, but at times of power outages you really have to admire the Amish. The never stay up as late as many English do. When the lamp light burns low, they go to bed! No sense wasting good resources when you can’t see bo diddely squat! And I think I’ll do just that since laptop computer batteries only last about three hours even on power saving mode. Night All!

Fashion rules

I don't proclaim to be a great fashion guru, after all I own and wear a hat that most people call "THE HAT" or "THE LAMPSHADE", but their are a few rules that I do know:

1. If your rear end is the size of Montana (and I don't mean Hannah) say no to stripped pants of any kind.

2. If your bust is the size of a automobile airbag, say no to the tube top.

3. If your rear end is the size of Alaska (probably from consuming to much baked Alaska), say no to the thong PLEASE! no one really wants to think about the amount of elastic and straining it took to get that thing over your hips!

4. If you are over 55, say no to wearing a bikini. If people want to see a scantily clad skeleton, they will go to the local morgue.

5. If you are a large person, please wear clothes made for your size. NO one really wants to see a size 45 try and squeeze themselves into a size 15 skirt. I don't think the skirt can take anyway.

6. If you have to wear matchy-matchy clothes, say no to day-glo colors. I can't imagine a more disturbing sight than to see a bright orange object coming towards me. It's like a traffic cone or something.

Finally:

7. If you are going to wear jewlery, please keep it toned down. Too many necklaces and rings makes it look as though you have just robbed a pawn shop.



Again, I do not claim to be a fashion guru or anything of the kind, but I have noticed the tendancy for people to dress like ciricus freaks.

NASCAR,Redneck Crack

I realize that NASCAR is a wildly popular sport around the world, but to me it is redneck crack. If you wake up thinking about NASCAR, your wardrobe consists of NASCAR T-shirt, caps, and jackets, you know the cars by sight and the drivers by their first names, you are addicted to the redneck crack. NASCAR was founded on the institution of original redneck crack, moonshining and rum running. Only truly addicted people could create one addiction form another. I know it's popular, but why would anyone want to spend five or six hours on a Sunday afternoon inhaling exhaust fumes in the sweltering North Carolina sun? I personally feel that their are so many other things that a person could spent that amount of time and money on, but like I said before:
NASCAR is Redneck Crack.