Fashion rules continued

In response to my last fashion rules I have a few additions.

8. If you have large breasts please wear a bra that fits properly, or any bra for that matter. NO one really needs to see your breasts bouncing like three year olds on a trampoline.

9. If it is raining, wear a rain coat or carry an umbrella. Use them. No one really needs to think that you were just a contestant in a wet T-shirt contest.

10. If you are gifted with girth in the neather regions say no to the tight jeans. No one wants to imagine the amount of lard it took to get you into those jeans or about the horror that will be inflicted on humanity if the seams should bust.

11. If you are more than three months pregnant say no to wearing a bikini while at the beach. People will call the beach patrol in order to have the whale rescued or have some one arrested for cruelty to animals.

12. If you are pregnant, please avoid bib overalls. WHile you may think the look is cute and motherly, grocery store security is sure to stop you for trying to steal hams.

13. If you are pregant please avoid wearing hawaiian print shirts. I know every one wants to save the rain forest, but imagine all the rainforest dyes it took to create that monster.

Finally, so every one doesn't think I am just making fun of large people and pregnant women here is one for the skinny people.

14. If you are extremely skinny and it is winter, wear a coat! No one really needs to watch your breasts contract to higher ground and besides you don't have enough body fat to keep you warm anyway.

Again I am not a fashion expert, I just call them as I see them and appaled by them