On my own.

I have just had the roughest three days of my life. The love of my life has doubts about our long relationship and after a lot of tears, no food, and no sleep, I find myself still madly in love, but unfortunately single. We agreed to keep our lines of communication open, we are each other's best friend and we want to be there for each other if there is an emergency, but he has a lot of baggage he needs to work through. I do too. He felt that while he loves me, he has the tiniest bit of doubt that he could see himself spending the rest of his life with me and as long as he has that little bit of doubt it's not fair to me to keep stringing me along. It sounds fine in words and on paper, but it hurts like hell in real life. I realize that it's not all my fault, but I internalize things so much that it feels like it. Seven and a half years of love, laughs, tears, great times, bad times, silly times, and problems all boil down to three little, but agonizingly painful words, "I'm not sure". We are going to take a break, it could resolve itself in a few months or never, but I'm willing to keep things honest, open, and turn every problem and hurt over to a higher authority. Bear with me folks: I am going to be moodier, sadder, angrier at the world than I have been in a long time. That does not me I am going to badmouth him, we agreed that name-calling and finger- pointing were not the way we wanted to handle things. As much as it hurts, as sad as I am (we both are) we want to be as sensitive to the other persons feelings as we possibly can (not that this doesn't feel like the end of the world). It's going to hurt, it may never stop hurting; I may never get over this, but I have to move forward. If I don't, I might wind up hurting myself.