Top Ten Signs that you need Psychiatric Help

Ever wonder about people in your family or where you work? Have you always wondered if there was something wrong with them? You know, like if they were going to go postal one day. Here are my top signs that you or your co-worker/family member need the aid of a mental health professional.
1. You are thrilled by blood and extreme violence.
2. You have ever tortured innocent animals, mainly frog, cats/kittens, small dogs, ants, etc: either by accident or on purpose.
3. Every single "innocent looking" stick or writing utensil becomes a sword by which you will save the world from all evil.
4. You honestly believe in Zombies, Aliens, and that they will invade earth.
5. You over indulge in alcohol or drugs in order to numb your mind and stop "the voices and urges".
6. You treat women like they are second class citizens and merely receptacles for your lust.
7. The destructive power of nature makes you horny. Lightning and tornadoes especially.
8. You think you were hatched from an egg in the back yard.
9. You are constantly boxing with imaginary foes to prepare for the "Zombie Apocalypse"
10. Your mother has named you after one of the following: a car brand, a snack cracker, a piece of fruit, a celestial body, or a defunct rock band.

If you meet some or all of these requirements, please proceed to the nearest mental hospital and CHECK YOURSELF IN! Those of us in the real world would really appreciate it.